my Mid teen crisis.
My name is Joanna, but they call me Joe. I am suffering from mid-teen crisis-this is a phase of utmost confusion and severe anxiety. I just turned sixteen last week and since then my life has not been the same. I am a pretty, dark skinned girl; I am tall, at least for my age, that, is 5 ft 5 inches. I love baggy T-shirts; baggy jeans sagged a bit below my butt crack. I don’t make up, I don’t do earrings. I love my hair blown out and unretouched, it brings out the tiger in me.
I am a member of an all guys clique, or should I say, a fraternity. We call ourselves ‘the Tigers’. The school authority is against our activities but the school sport coordinator’s got our back, full time. I am in a boarding school- John Kings Secondary School. My biggest wish has been that I lose my two growing lumps(breasts as they are popularly called) and grow an extra appendage between my legs. I am a member of the school basket ball team, last interschool competition, I won the school’s favourite basketballer of the year, dad was very proud but mom wasn’t, she wants me to drop sports and enter the home management club, the thought is terrifying and I really cannot stand that club, it’s just filled with a bunch of nasty, spoilt, disgusting, drama queens, that spend on their time on fights and gossips over boys, backstreet boys and nail polish. I hate nail polishes and I think make- up should be illegal; it is high class deceit and lies.
Every morning when I wake up I see the school’s most beautiful and finest in their truest, crudest and natural forms. They are ugly, very ugly with nasty drool marks running down their mouths and phlegm dripping off their noses.
To me, girls are stupid; they are naturally dramatic, selfish, malicious, self centered and free born snitches. They pretend a lot. My worst part of everyday is bedtime, I just feel like killing myself each night at the dormitory seeing everybody naked and half dressed with big and little lumps intimidating themselves.
I hangout every evening with my fellaz over at the basketball court, we play cards, gamble and practice basket ball. I love the way guyz live. They are family, to them, the word brotherhood is much more intimate than the dictionary defines it, sisterhood is a joke, I call it spinsterhood (the life of a woman alone), and motherhood is ‘murder-hood’.
Guys are free, open, accommodating and honest to the core. They are brotherly, sharing and loving. Guys share everything ranging from personal toothbrushes down to boxers, briefs and under wears. That’s the good life not the hypocritic life of cats and cat fights. Mike said they share a bed space five to one over at the male dormitory. That is not possible over here.
Last two weeks was my birthday, my one and only birthday wish was for God to make me a guy. I wish so hard to be a guy that I stand to pee and imagine it’s flowing forward and not downward. On my birthday, Mike got me a pres\nt and that’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten since I was born, it was a t-shirt and on it was written “girls are not to be trusted...trust just God and dogs…God is man’s closest friend and dog is man’s best friend…trust just dogs don’t trust girls ”
Right now I don’t know what is happening to me, my mid teen crisis has intensified, I am becoming like them, I think I’m beginning to like Mike and I hate the feeling. I no longer feel like a ‘brother’ around him, I don’t want to feel shy around him, I just want to play with him like before with no pup petering strings attached. These days before practice I brush my hair well and always get tempted to make up. My basket ball shorts are always neat and well ironed these days. Whenever I’m with him, breathing is hard, thinking is even harder, I either get dumb or I talk too much and talk rubbish. Mike said I’ve been acting strange lately and he likes ‘the strange me’. He himself has also been acting strange; we both have been coming early for practice, maybe a little too early.
During practice he keeps trying to grab my lumps, I try to act like I don’t understand, but I know we both know this is beyond basket ball. I feel like girls now, I now know the complete lyrics of Britney spears’ ‘just a girl’. I am at a cross road now, I’m torn between the life of prince charming and that of Cinderella. Yesterday, I watched the tigers disintegrate and break up over an empty fight and it was all because me, it was unbelievable, guys fight!? Mike was crying like a girl and it was all because of me, me! I felt nothing but just pity, and I realized today that I’M JUST A GIRL AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE IT, I talked to Fifi about my feelings and she said it’s called love, please somebody, tell me, could this be love or something more?
Monday, November 15, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
My Wedding
My wedding
I am angry, constantly bitter; I’ve not always been like this, but right now I have grown to become an angry, sad, old lady. My chest constantly burns deeply; I just enrolled for an anger management Class at the psychiatric hospital with Dr Jones. Last week i smashed my television into pieces the week before it was my laptop, it was then i knew i had a problem. I am 31 years old. My name is Lisa Okoh a.k.a. ‘Mona Lisa’ if you listen to 98.2 FreaQ FM you will definitely know this name. The very soft, sensational, happy voice that anchors the show ‘woman to woman’ every Wednesday on FreaQ FM. (Happy indeed) all those are just but make believes, that’s what I’m paid to do
2006 was my favourite year it was my big break i graduated from school, got a job at the Nigerian press community and also got a contract with FreaQ FM, I was young, (i still am) radical, and exuberant. I was always ready to experiment. I was a born extrovert; according to mother my first word was the word as a baby was ‘Afghanistan!’ (To me, that’s really a BIG word for a kid). My job was fun and exciting, (oh! it used to be), i used to work overtime always i just didn’t used to want leave the studio. I won an award in 2007 as the best for the best radio personnel, i also won plenty other youth awards. My name was sung up the hill and down the valley. The biggest thing that happened to me in 2007, bigger than all the awards to me was Jacob to coming into my life. Jacob was a second year student of mass communication- photography major. I still remember that day; it was a cold, rainy July night. During the After party of Sola’s album launch, a young, cute well built young man stepped up to me and told me to autograph his boxers, I was shocked as I watched him, loosen his belt and unzip his trouser, my heart was beating fast, i felt embarrassed but i wanted to be undefeated so i stood tall and bold, I can still remember, it was a tight, red Hugo boss briefs. He gave me a pen as he smiled mischievously as I signed my hands pressed against his thick Thighs and I shivered it’s been a while i felt that way. I’ve been sexually inactive for years now; it’s been work, work and work. Men were the least thing on my mind, i have many suitors but i don’t have their time. After i signed he gripped my hand tightly and said ‘hope you wouldn’t mind i tattoo you too’ as he chucked, his voice was husky i had taken a little too much wine, so my judgements were not accurate he dragged me to the dark corner, I followed him happily as a sheep to the slaughter i liked the feeling. It was a cold night and the night was perfect, the DJ then started playing my favourite song ‘immortality- Celine Dion’ my head was on fire, filled with crazy sparks. It was then we both agreed it was going to be just a one night stand, after which we won’t contact each other again. After the wonderful night i woke up early, stole Jacob’s complimentary card. Unknowing to me he took my driver’s licence so too I’ll contact him. Long story short we kept in touch Jacob was 20. I bought him a car, we were crazily and blindly in love (or should i say stupidly delusional). I knew we had no future but i just didn’t want to let go, Jacob was young, maybe too young for me. I was 27 then. I loved the feeling of being young again, i felt like a secondary school girl again. I used to play childishly with Jacob, under the rain, in shops, in church everywhere. We had our trademark handshake.
Everybody told me i was being stupid, my colleagues at work, my younger sister Rosa, everyone but i just didn’t listen. I liked the temporal ‘high’ it was like euphoria.
It is 2010 now. Years has passed, Jacob broke up with me last year’s Christmas ( like I knew it wouldn’t happen) he is currently in the UK with his white wife, and their new born son -Sean which was the name I was reserving for my first son, that bloody fool! Bloody Thief!
Last week i lost my job because I slapped my boss recklessly, he said I was slacking in my duties i had become lazy and i come to work late. Do I need to tell now that work has become a big nightmare. I hate filling the attendance column with the section-martial status. I am tired of putting down single on the dotted line. Like my mother would say ‘girls are like flowers they blossom and they fade away’ i have blossomed and i am fading or should i say faded away. I can’t take jokes about husbands no more; strangers address me as Mrs Lisa before i correct them that it is still ‘Miss’, as they apologize in disappointment. I am beautiful, used to be much more beautiful. I threw away my opportunities over nothing. Jacob still E-mails me and ends all his E-mails with ‘I love you deeply’ is he crazy? Is he kidding me? Mscheww what does he know about love other than good bed time?
Next weekend is my kid sister’s wedding and I’m not going, I’ll be at the spa chilling. I cannot stand seeing people pity me like they always do, all my friends and foes are getting married, I feel completely left out, most of their conversation are dominated with wedding planner, Ante- natal, child christening, family planning, HUSBAND,! HUSBAND! And more HUSBAND! I feel like a student who has not been attending maths class and is in the middle of a quiz, they make marriage look so sweet, my best friend Ada is travelling to Dubai for summer holidays with her husband and family, did I tell you about my kid sister’s best friend- Brandy who had their honeymoon in the Bahamas, the photos are all over Facebook. Everybody’s relationship status has upgraded to MARRIED! My parents claim to be fine with me staying back with them at home; I still retain my old room painted pink just as it has always been. Every time when my mother speaks to me I hear pity in her voice, it frustrates me and makes me cry every night. I am desperate, very; very desperate I’ll do anything just to have the title ‘Mrs’ in front of my name, have my own family and be seen on Facebook with an album labelled ‘MY WEDDING’. This is not an advert; it is more than just an advert. Help me please i desperately need a man, help! I am for sale buy me. This is my story.
Age: 31
Lisa Okoh
Aka ‘Mona Lisa’
For the Lighthouse newspaper
WOMAN TO WOMAN
I am angry, constantly bitter; I’ve not always been like this, but right now I have grown to become an angry, sad, old lady. My chest constantly burns deeply; I just enrolled for an anger management Class at the psychiatric hospital with Dr Jones. Last week i smashed my television into pieces the week before it was my laptop, it was then i knew i had a problem. I am 31 years old. My name is Lisa Okoh a.k.a. ‘Mona Lisa’ if you listen to 98.2 FreaQ FM you will definitely know this name. The very soft, sensational, happy voice that anchors the show ‘woman to woman’ every Wednesday on FreaQ FM. (Happy indeed) all those are just but make believes, that’s what I’m paid to do
2006 was my favourite year it was my big break i graduated from school, got a job at the Nigerian press community and also got a contract with FreaQ FM, I was young, (i still am) radical, and exuberant. I was always ready to experiment. I was a born extrovert; according to mother my first word was the word as a baby was ‘Afghanistan!’ (To me, that’s really a BIG word for a kid). My job was fun and exciting, (oh! it used to be), i used to work overtime always i just didn’t used to want leave the studio. I won an award in 2007 as the best for the best radio personnel, i also won plenty other youth awards. My name was sung up the hill and down the valley. The biggest thing that happened to me in 2007, bigger than all the awards to me was Jacob to coming into my life. Jacob was a second year student of mass communication- photography major. I still remember that day; it was a cold, rainy July night. During the After party of Sola’s album launch, a young, cute well built young man stepped up to me and told me to autograph his boxers, I was shocked as I watched him, loosen his belt and unzip his trouser, my heart was beating fast, i felt embarrassed but i wanted to be undefeated so i stood tall and bold, I can still remember, it was a tight, red Hugo boss briefs. He gave me a pen as he smiled mischievously as I signed my hands pressed against his thick Thighs and I shivered it’s been a while i felt that way. I’ve been sexually inactive for years now; it’s been work, work and work. Men were the least thing on my mind, i have many suitors but i don’t have their time. After i signed he gripped my hand tightly and said ‘hope you wouldn’t mind i tattoo you too’ as he chucked, his voice was husky i had taken a little too much wine, so my judgements were not accurate he dragged me to the dark corner, I followed him happily as a sheep to the slaughter i liked the feeling. It was a cold night and the night was perfect, the DJ then started playing my favourite song ‘immortality- Celine Dion’ my head was on fire, filled with crazy sparks. It was then we both agreed it was going to be just a one night stand, after which we won’t contact each other again. After the wonderful night i woke up early, stole Jacob’s complimentary card. Unknowing to me he took my driver’s licence so too I’ll contact him. Long story short we kept in touch Jacob was 20. I bought him a car, we were crazily and blindly in love (or should i say stupidly delusional). I knew we had no future but i just didn’t want to let go, Jacob was young, maybe too young for me. I was 27 then. I loved the feeling of being young again, i felt like a secondary school girl again. I used to play childishly with Jacob, under the rain, in shops, in church everywhere. We had our trademark handshake.
Everybody told me i was being stupid, my colleagues at work, my younger sister Rosa, everyone but i just didn’t listen. I liked the temporal ‘high’ it was like euphoria.
It is 2010 now. Years has passed, Jacob broke up with me last year’s Christmas ( like I knew it wouldn’t happen) he is currently in the UK with his white wife, and their new born son -Sean which was the name I was reserving for my first son, that bloody fool! Bloody Thief!
Last week i lost my job because I slapped my boss recklessly, he said I was slacking in my duties i had become lazy and i come to work late. Do I need to tell now that work has become a big nightmare. I hate filling the attendance column with the section-martial status. I am tired of putting down single on the dotted line. Like my mother would say ‘girls are like flowers they blossom and they fade away’ i have blossomed and i am fading or should i say faded away. I can’t take jokes about husbands no more; strangers address me as Mrs Lisa before i correct them that it is still ‘Miss’, as they apologize in disappointment. I am beautiful, used to be much more beautiful. I threw away my opportunities over nothing. Jacob still E-mails me and ends all his E-mails with ‘I love you deeply’ is he crazy? Is he kidding me? Mscheww what does he know about love other than good bed time?
Next weekend is my kid sister’s wedding and I’m not going, I’ll be at the spa chilling. I cannot stand seeing people pity me like they always do, all my friends and foes are getting married, I feel completely left out, most of their conversation are dominated with wedding planner, Ante- natal, child christening, family planning, HUSBAND,! HUSBAND! And more HUSBAND! I feel like a student who has not been attending maths class and is in the middle of a quiz, they make marriage look so sweet, my best friend Ada is travelling to Dubai for summer holidays with her husband and family, did I tell you about my kid sister’s best friend- Brandy who had their honeymoon in the Bahamas, the photos are all over Facebook. Everybody’s relationship status has upgraded to MARRIED! My parents claim to be fine with me staying back with them at home; I still retain my old room painted pink just as it has always been. Every time when my mother speaks to me I hear pity in her voice, it frustrates me and makes me cry every night. I am desperate, very; very desperate I’ll do anything just to have the title ‘Mrs’ in front of my name, have my own family and be seen on Facebook with an album labelled ‘MY WEDDING’. This is not an advert; it is more than just an advert. Help me please i desperately need a man, help! I am for sale buy me. This is my story.
Age: 31
Lisa Okoh
Aka ‘Mona Lisa’
For the Lighthouse newspaper
WOMAN TO WOMAN
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
buy me a rose
Buy me a rose
Buy me a rose, now
No! maybe tulips
Tell me you love me now
Yes, say it from your true lips
Cry me a river, now
No! Maybe an ocean
Hold me now
Yes, right now
Hold me tight
Yes, a little more tight
Write me letters
Sweet, sweet letters
Praise me now
A little more now
Appreciate me more
Yes a little much more
Please don’t wait
Please don’t linger
Yes wait not
Don’t let it linger
Know me now
Don’t wait till I’m gone
Hug me goodbye
Cause soon I will be gone
Gone deep down
Down with the ashes
And it will all gone
Please don’t come to my gravestone
Now, not ever
Please don’t cry for on my gravestone
Not now, not ever
Love me now, now or never.
Buy me a rose, now
No! maybe tulips
Tell me you love me now
Yes, say it from your true lips
Cry me a river, now
No! Maybe an ocean
Hold me now
Yes, right now
Hold me tight
Yes, a little more tight
Write me letters
Sweet, sweet letters
Praise me now
A little more now
Appreciate me more
Yes a little much more
Please don’t wait
Please don’t linger
Yes wait not
Don’t let it linger
Know me now
Don’t wait till I’m gone
Hug me goodbye
Cause soon I will be gone
Gone deep down
Down with the ashes
And it will all gone
Please don’t come to my gravestone
Now, not ever
Please don’t cry for on my gravestone
Not now, not ever
Love me now, now or never.
cupid's got a GUN!
Cupid’s got a gun
Sniff sniff...
What’s that smell?
What is going on?
What is wrong with everybody?
Why is here so desolate?
Why I’m I alone?
I hear there’s a party
And everybody is going
It’s Over at the love garden and
Love is in the air
I hear it’s infectious
Hey little cupid
Don’t be stupid
Where is your halo?
And your tiny arrow?
What is that in your right hand?
Is that a pistol!?
Aren’t you too young
to handle a gun?
Oh! No! Don’t aim at me, stupid
Are you crazy?
Everybody get down!
He’s gone crazy
Cupid’s got a gun on the play ground
And I’ve got a breastplate
Though he shoots
I will not fall
No I will not surrender
I will stand tall
Here I am, shoot it’s your call
Give me your best shot
Here’s my heart
Give a straight shot
X marks the spot
Be quick, shoot
No more hide and seek, shoot
Cupid’s got a gun
And I will not run
Cupid’s got a gun
And I’ve got two
So let’s have fun
Sniff sniff...
What’s that smell?
What is going on?
What is wrong with everybody?
Why is here so desolate?
Why I’m I alone?
I hear there’s a party
And everybody is going
It’s Over at the love garden and
Love is in the air
I hear it’s infectious
Hey little cupid
Don’t be stupid
Where is your halo?
And your tiny arrow?
What is that in your right hand?
Is that a pistol!?
Aren’t you too young
to handle a gun?
Oh! No! Don’t aim at me, stupid
Are you crazy?
Everybody get down!
He’s gone crazy
Cupid’s got a gun on the play ground
And I’ve got a breastplate
Though he shoots
I will not fall
No I will not surrender
I will stand tall
Here I am, shoot it’s your call
Give me your best shot
Here’s my heart
Give a straight shot
X marks the spot
Be quick, shoot
No more hide and seek, shoot
Cupid’s got a gun
And I will not run
Cupid’s got a gun
And I’ve got two
So let’s have fun
Monday, November 1, 2010
beautiful feet
Beautiful feet
By
Makuochi Okafor
Ever been to Lagos, Nigeria? What was the first thing you noticed? Did you notice how fast everything moves, on four wheels, on four legs and most interestingly on two legs? Everybody walking fast with heads high, shoulders tall and neck straight, stepping in this strong aura of confidence, elegance and grace. On my first visit to Lagos I wondered what the secret was, how everybody moved so fast and yet still looked unstressed and happy as I noticed one thing most of these people had In common, they had beautiful feet.
Lagos is Nigeria’s biggest city, Nigerians were once said to be the happiest people on earth. Walk the street of Lagos and you won’t doubt that. Lagos displays boldly the rich cultural wealth of Nigeria, with over 225 Ethnic groups uniting in a colourful harmony. Nigerians has developed this identity as they proudly refer to the country as NAIJA, Everybody walking and talking ‘Naija’, smiling generously even under the worst situations.
Many people believe that your outward look has a lot to say about your inside, I also believe that too. At the mere look of these people’s feet you will smile at the beauty. Every foot telling its own unique story . Stories of where they are, where they‘ve been and where they are going to. The loudest footwear trend I noticed on most Nigerians feet (Guys & Ladies alike) were that of the palms. This stylish informal sandal-like footwear comes in different shapes, colours and sizes. Palms are simple, comfortable and most of the times flat. Mostly handmade and crafted at the local market by shoe makers using leather, can also be made with suede, might be decorated with beads, wood, cowries, feather, fur, fabric, twine, thatch Etc. or any other creative material of the creator’s choice. It can be in form of flip-flops but rarely as clogs.
This informal wear gives you the freedom to show off your toes (especially if you just did your nails), look simple and still look elegant.
Palms go with almost everything. Can go beautifully with a pair of jeans and a T- shirt/shirt .
Can also perfectly fit khaki shorts for an evening walk, highlighting your feet and your legs too. Palms are also worn with most traditional Nigerian wears. Palms originally were just men’s affair but now the trend knows no gender boundaries no more. Some are crafted with this delicate, girly, feminine touch. Well curved and shaped, decorated with flowers, beads etc.
Other stories apart from those of the palms are told too on the streets of Lagos, stories of the young, happy and sporty Nigerian youth on colourful snickers, canvas, converses and high tops shoes, and ladies stepping confidently on the soles of their gladiator sandals ( a sandal with ankle length or a-bit –above-the-ankle straps) stories of working class guys on the beautiful old classic leather formal shoes shining black, walking behind them are their working class lady friends with 6 inches high heel shoes, pip toes, wedges and block face shoes each reflecting the possessor feelings. The streets of Lagos, Nigeria has more than enough stories to tell of different days and occasions, of weddings, Sunday church services, parties and evening walks. Stories of elegant shoes, sandals, palms, bare feet and more. But the most interesting story is that every foot in Nigeria is beautiful. Every foot in Nigeria speaks and smiles just like its possessors.
(c)2010
By
Makuochi Okafor
Ever been to Lagos, Nigeria? What was the first thing you noticed? Did you notice how fast everything moves, on four wheels, on four legs and most interestingly on two legs? Everybody walking fast with heads high, shoulders tall and neck straight, stepping in this strong aura of confidence, elegance and grace. On my first visit to Lagos I wondered what the secret was, how everybody moved so fast and yet still looked unstressed and happy as I noticed one thing most of these people had In common, they had beautiful feet.
Lagos is Nigeria’s biggest city, Nigerians were once said to be the happiest people on earth. Walk the street of Lagos and you won’t doubt that. Lagos displays boldly the rich cultural wealth of Nigeria, with over 225 Ethnic groups uniting in a colourful harmony. Nigerians has developed this identity as they proudly refer to the country as NAIJA, Everybody walking and talking ‘Naija’, smiling generously even under the worst situations.
Many people believe that your outward look has a lot to say about your inside, I also believe that too. At the mere look of these people’s feet you will smile at the beauty. Every foot telling its own unique story . Stories of where they are, where they‘ve been and where they are going to. The loudest footwear trend I noticed on most Nigerians feet (Guys & Ladies alike) were that of the palms. This stylish informal sandal-like footwear comes in different shapes, colours and sizes. Palms are simple, comfortable and most of the times flat. Mostly handmade and crafted at the local market by shoe makers using leather, can also be made with suede, might be decorated with beads, wood, cowries, feather, fur, fabric, twine, thatch Etc. or any other creative material of the creator’s choice. It can be in form of flip-flops but rarely as clogs.
This informal wear gives you the freedom to show off your toes (especially if you just did your nails), look simple and still look elegant.
Palms go with almost everything. Can go beautifully with a pair of jeans and a T- shirt/shirt .
Can also perfectly fit khaki shorts for an evening walk, highlighting your feet and your legs too. Palms are also worn with most traditional Nigerian wears. Palms originally were just men’s affair but now the trend knows no gender boundaries no more. Some are crafted with this delicate, girly, feminine touch. Well curved and shaped, decorated with flowers, beads etc.
Other stories apart from those of the palms are told too on the streets of Lagos, stories of the young, happy and sporty Nigerian youth on colourful snickers, canvas, converses and high tops shoes, and ladies stepping confidently on the soles of their gladiator sandals ( a sandal with ankle length or a-bit –above-the-ankle straps) stories of working class guys on the beautiful old classic leather formal shoes shining black, walking behind them are their working class lady friends with 6 inches high heel shoes, pip toes, wedges and block face shoes each reflecting the possessor feelings. The streets of Lagos, Nigeria has more than enough stories to tell of different days and occasions, of weddings, Sunday church services, parties and evening walks. Stories of elegant shoes, sandals, palms, bare feet and more. But the most interesting story is that every foot in Nigeria is beautiful. Every foot in Nigeria speaks and smiles just like its possessors.
(c)2010
my unread auto biography
Life begets life
Living begets living....
My life started 4 months ago in this room, it was like magic, more like fireworks, half of me and another half collided, it was sudden, so sudden after the collision i rested and covered myself with many blankets.
5.45am i woke up and it was two weeks past! mom had been up since 4.00 she was listening to her favorite song 'holy holy' by Cece Winas.
My mother is a third year pharmacy stundent of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. She's 20 years old and she's very beautiful and confident she doesn't care about what you have to say and thats why she proudly carries me everywhere she goes.
Every tuesday we go for choir practice in the church, my mom loves church, i think a little too much. In the choir she sings soprano where she sits in front and make eye contact with franklin the pianoist he plays very well. Everyday after choir practice franklin walks us to our room-225 Eyo-ita hostel.
I like him he takes mom and i to our favourite restraunt in school-'coke villa' where we eat rice,fish and salad and talk about music,school, fashion and church gossip, franklin said that last week he saw the choir mistress-Ada and smith kissing under the big tree in front of new arts theatre by 10.35pm.
Mom likes franklin a little too much, when ever he's around her heart beat fast and loud almost deafening my fragile eyes, they 'sms' each other daily,
I love my mother dearly and she loves me too.we are closely connected our connection feels closer than what mom and Franklin did last three months in his BQ(boy's quater as it is called)mom thinks about it always even in the church
I remember the first day she put sugar in my blood it was so sweet! I leaped for joy, she cleaned up my room last week. I am changing real fast my whole organs are now functioning well i think it's pastor Chike's prayers. I am so grateful to God. My heart beats well, i think it's a miracle
Last week monday mom woke up and she was feeling sick, she threw up twice that morning, the next day she also woke up early, rushed straight to the bathroom and threw up endlessly. I don't what is wrong with her and she doesn't to tell me, two days later i woke up and found her crying with sister Emem comforting her, both whispering and i could hear was pregnancy pregnany!. I wonder what that is.
Later that day mom took me to kendra's room.As we knocked i saw mom wiping her eyes fast, kendra opened the door and screamed out LA BABY LA HOT!, you look fat and beautiful.she loves saying LA BABY LA HOT more than she likes 'okpa' she welcomed us and gave us a seat she is a final year student of the music Department, i want to be a musician when i grow up, in her room every sort of gossip takes place from Fine boys,Frat parties,to sex scandals, to class results even down to what the pastor ate this morning, she loves talking and screaming. I like her more than Emem, Emem only talks about God,bible and school. She has no life!
before kendra could start talking mom resumed crying again, i think it's franklin cause they no more 'sms' like they used to do before. I wonder what all these tears are about. They started whispering softly
Later that evening mom called franklin over i was so happy it's been a while since i saw him, when he came mom took us to 'meshiy' joint where she bought bread and fried egg as we strolled down to our usual spot- the metal beach in front of Bello hostel it's serene, dark and always cool there.As we all sat down mom said 'frank, do you love me?', and he replied 'of course i do', she then said 'what will say if i tell I AM 3 MONTHS PREGNANT' and he froze immeditely and said 'NO, it's a lie, please tell me you are joking' mom was furious immediately as she said 'shut up, i told you let's not do it again but you refused now she what you've done' as she cried, sobbing bitterly frank was speechless he stood up with two hand on his head and walked towards home without turning back.
Mom didn't sleep that night she was awake, worried about grandpa-her dad, the church, her school and everybody.
I was crying too in this room i pitied her
mom woke up late and on her phone was an sms from frank reading 'get rid of that THING,GO FLUSH IT OUT i will foot the bills' mom was so shocked and amazed,she could not speak.
we dressed up,ate 'okpa' and 'garri' as usual and went over to kendra's.
She supported frank,she adviced mom to get rid of 'that thing' point to my head! As mom shook her head in disagreement
After the long talk they both agreed to get rid of me. I am a 4 months old nameless girl, this is my unread autobiography
on the 17th of january 2010 my mother murdered me, i will never forgive her and her friends,
that morning we woke up early,got a cab the hospital, kendra was with us, oh! I thought she was good, she was the master mind behind my murder.
The doctor smiled and laid mom and i on a soft bed, i watched it all happen, i was so scared i heard mom say loud to herself, forcing herself to believe that i was 'a thing' and that i was not living.
If i was really just 'a thing' mom would have left me to stay till nine months, she'll be surprised what i'll become
i believe pastor Chike,his philosophy is that everybody has a purpose and deserves life, i have a purpose, i have a dream, i want to be a musician, i want to be rich and famous, i want to have a family like everybody, i want to feel love, real love, too bad it's all over,all my dreams,all over
The doctor injected mom with a 'sleeping drug', he said my room is called a womb. And that all my organs are working perfectly. I am healthy
I cried as i saw them bring in all the 'war tools', the sharp blades and weapons ,and i wondered all this for me? A harmless,innocent, little child?
I wondered what i had done to deserve this painful death, it was brutal.
I was wide awake, i saw the doctor cut my forming hand, i cried as my tender eyes bleed. Blood gushed as i died. On the 17th of jaunary my mother killed me,she planned my death with franklin,my Dad. Nobody knew my name nor my story.
Life begets life
living begets living
i lived, i was begotton of the living.
I am not 'a thing'
i am girl
here is my last word before i die
Everybody has the right to life, even the unborn.
GOODBYE!
Living begets living....
My life started 4 months ago in this room, it was like magic, more like fireworks, half of me and another half collided, it was sudden, so sudden after the collision i rested and covered myself with many blankets.
5.45am i woke up and it was two weeks past! mom had been up since 4.00 she was listening to her favorite song 'holy holy' by Cece Winas.
My mother is a third year pharmacy stundent of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka. She's 20 years old and she's very beautiful and confident she doesn't care about what you have to say and thats why she proudly carries me everywhere she goes.
Every tuesday we go for choir practice in the church, my mom loves church, i think a little too much. In the choir she sings soprano where she sits in front and make eye contact with franklin the pianoist he plays very well. Everyday after choir practice franklin walks us to our room-225 Eyo-ita hostel.
I like him he takes mom and i to our favourite restraunt in school-'coke villa' where we eat rice,fish and salad and talk about music,school, fashion and church gossip, franklin said that last week he saw the choir mistress-Ada and smith kissing under the big tree in front of new arts theatre by 10.35pm.
Mom likes franklin a little too much, when ever he's around her heart beat fast and loud almost deafening my fragile eyes, they 'sms' each other daily,
I love my mother dearly and she loves me too.we are closely connected our connection feels closer than what mom and Franklin did last three months in his BQ(boy's quater as it is called)mom thinks about it always even in the church
I remember the first day she put sugar in my blood it was so sweet! I leaped for joy, she cleaned up my room last week. I am changing real fast my whole organs are now functioning well i think it's pastor Chike's prayers. I am so grateful to God. My heart beats well, i think it's a miracle
Last week monday mom woke up and she was feeling sick, she threw up twice that morning, the next day she also woke up early, rushed straight to the bathroom and threw up endlessly. I don't what is wrong with her and she doesn't to tell me, two days later i woke up and found her crying with sister Emem comforting her, both whispering and i could hear was pregnancy pregnany!. I wonder what that is.
Later that day mom took me to kendra's room.As we knocked i saw mom wiping her eyes fast, kendra opened the door and screamed out LA BABY LA HOT!, you look fat and beautiful.she loves saying LA BABY LA HOT more than she likes 'okpa' she welcomed us and gave us a seat she is a final year student of the music Department, i want to be a musician when i grow up, in her room every sort of gossip takes place from Fine boys,Frat parties,to sex scandals, to class results even down to what the pastor ate this morning, she loves talking and screaming. I like her more than Emem, Emem only talks about God,bible and school. She has no life!
before kendra could start talking mom resumed crying again, i think it's franklin cause they no more 'sms' like they used to do before. I wonder what all these tears are about. They started whispering softly
Later that evening mom called franklin over i was so happy it's been a while since i saw him, when he came mom took us to 'meshiy' joint where she bought bread and fried egg as we strolled down to our usual spot- the metal beach in front of Bello hostel it's serene, dark and always cool there.As we all sat down mom said 'frank, do you love me?', and he replied 'of course i do', she then said 'what will say if i tell I AM 3 MONTHS PREGNANT' and he froze immeditely and said 'NO, it's a lie, please tell me you are joking' mom was furious immediately as she said 'shut up, i told you let's not do it again but you refused now she what you've done' as she cried, sobbing bitterly frank was speechless he stood up with two hand on his head and walked towards home without turning back.
Mom didn't sleep that night she was awake, worried about grandpa-her dad, the church, her school and everybody.
I was crying too in this room i pitied her
mom woke up late and on her phone was an sms from frank reading 'get rid of that THING,GO FLUSH IT OUT i will foot the bills' mom was so shocked and amazed,she could not speak.
we dressed up,ate 'okpa' and 'garri' as usual and went over to kendra's.
She supported frank,she adviced mom to get rid of 'that thing' point to my head! As mom shook her head in disagreement
After the long talk they both agreed to get rid of me. I am a 4 months old nameless girl, this is my unread autobiography
on the 17th of january 2010 my mother murdered me, i will never forgive her and her friends,
that morning we woke up early,got a cab the hospital, kendra was with us, oh! I thought she was good, she was the master mind behind my murder.
The doctor smiled and laid mom and i on a soft bed, i watched it all happen, i was so scared i heard mom say loud to herself, forcing herself to believe that i was 'a thing' and that i was not living.
If i was really just 'a thing' mom would have left me to stay till nine months, she'll be surprised what i'll become
i believe pastor Chike,his philosophy is that everybody has a purpose and deserves life, i have a purpose, i have a dream, i want to be a musician, i want to be rich and famous, i want to have a family like everybody, i want to feel love, real love, too bad it's all over,all my dreams,all over
The doctor injected mom with a 'sleeping drug', he said my room is called a womb. And that all my organs are working perfectly. I am healthy
I cried as i saw them bring in all the 'war tools', the sharp blades and weapons ,and i wondered all this for me? A harmless,innocent, little child?
I wondered what i had done to deserve this painful death, it was brutal.
I was wide awake, i saw the doctor cut my forming hand, i cried as my tender eyes bleed. Blood gushed as i died. On the 17th of jaunary my mother killed me,she planned my death with franklin,my Dad. Nobody knew my name nor my story.
Life begets life
living begets living
i lived, i was begotton of the living.
I am not 'a thing'
i am girl
here is my last word before i die
Everybody has the right to life, even the unborn.
GOODBYE!
My cocoon
Afraid i came
perplexed all the same
cold within
stronghold within
wrapped around
thick blankets around
joy abound
and all my answers found
fear relieved
life released
walls are thick
bonds so weak & thick
Blood so thick
red as ink
here life begins
in here again
hands held tight
through rough fights
goodbyes waved once
still keeps us in towns
this warm cocoon
sweet sweet cocoon
deep warm cocoon
breeds this red lagoon
(c) 2010 Okafor Makuochi
perplexed all the same
cold within
stronghold within
wrapped around
thick blankets around
joy abound
and all my answers found
fear relieved
life released
walls are thick
bonds so weak & thick
Blood so thick
red as ink
here life begins
in here again
hands held tight
through rough fights
goodbyes waved once
still keeps us in towns
this warm cocoon
sweet sweet cocoon
deep warm cocoon
breeds this red lagoon
(c) 2010 Okafor Makuochi
i am the human, they are the zombie
Lost here in the desert
i am all alone searching
for just a drop of water
i stand with head held high
i see my fellows fly-by
They all flaunt their similar feathers
all of them with the same disease
they share the flu up in the beautiful sky
so blue
They spread the influenza like it's Christmas bonanza
Their feathers are styled loud & Extravangaza!
I dare to be different & that is my style
They are marvelled at my gut & they hate my 'Bile'
but they just would not admit.
Their flapping wings hit me with so much pressure,
their number increases daily without measure
They flood on me like the mighty oceans wave
but i stand 'against the flow'
and all their ocean current hit the cave
It is me against the world.
YES! I cannot beat them
But No! I will not join them
I will no longer suffocate in silence
I will crow So LOUD until someday i am found
I am the human,they are the Zombies
They march the desert
streets,like mighty
Soilders feet
They are nothing but empty toy soilders
Nothing but little robot kits
I am the ORIGINAL copy
They are 'mass-produced' clones
I am true breed Copy
They are just but Noisy megaphones
I am the HUMAN...They are the Zombies
i am all alone searching
for just a drop of water
i stand with head held high
i see my fellows fly-by
They all flaunt their similar feathers
all of them with the same disease
they share the flu up in the beautiful sky
so blue
They spread the influenza like it's Christmas bonanza
Their feathers are styled loud & Extravangaza!
I dare to be different & that is my style
They are marvelled at my gut & they hate my 'Bile'
but they just would not admit.
Their flapping wings hit me with so much pressure,
their number increases daily without measure
They flood on me like the mighty oceans wave
but i stand 'against the flow'
and all their ocean current hit the cave
It is me against the world.
YES! I cannot beat them
But No! I will not join them
I will no longer suffocate in silence
I will crow So LOUD until someday i am found
I am the human,they are the Zombies
They march the desert
streets,like mighty
Soilders feet
They are nothing but empty toy soilders
Nothing but little robot kits
I am the ORIGINAL copy
They are 'mass-produced' clones
I am true breed Copy
They are just but Noisy megaphones
I am the HUMAN...They are the Zombies
Dear mother Earth
dear mother earth
can you hear me?
has old age captured your ears?
can you see me,lost in this 'over crowd',?
over six billion souls,all crying out loud
Groaning about deep pains
screaming about the plains
The soil lies bare,it grows no harvest
what happened to the green years?
what happened to bounty days?
we have angered you,we have spat you in the face
what happened to all you taught us?
about peace
about unity
about love
about morality
about justice....
we have made our own rules
we have built the best bombs,better guns
we have exhibited the best 'art of war'
we have wounded poor souls
enslaved the innocent,torn down mighty heights
emptied wasted blood into harmless seas
left it blood red
suffocated little sea creatures
dispersed tree birds,pulled down their homes
enslaved elephants,enslaved poor ants
fought against every JUST thing
adopted new cultures of greed,lifestyle of vane
fame & sugar cane wealth
we swin in blood money
oh it tastes like honey
looks at us,look what we've turned into
animals,dirty filty animals
carnivorous beasts!
we no more prey wild animals
our brother's flesh is now a better meat
his blood the wine of our feast
we have snatched them their home
starved them
taken their little homes
left them naked,here in the field cold
displayed them on the BIG screen pretending to care
we have discriminated our brother
on the bases of skin tone & colour
bases of choice & belief
place of birth & origin
we have OVER explioted your crust
emptied large oceans dry
diseased the air,left it lifeless & helpless
we have torn down ozone's blanket
we want it no more
what happened to happy marriages
now is all happily divorced after
what happened to men marrying women
now its men marrying men
what happened to honest,hard working youth
now its weak,lazy,restless fools
what happened to nature and purity
now its all sand & ashes,dark clouds of gases
you have plagued us in your anger
with your rushing tears of FLOOD
angry pump of tsunami blood
heartless HEAT of warth
dry skin cracks of earthquakes
poundin head volcanos
cureless scars of cancer
painful curse of AIDS
heavy sigh of storms
bald grassland,and hungry sad band
sad crying faces,sorrowful music for the babies
where really are we?
we are lost & forgotten in this place
tommorrow we shall leave you
we are going to MARS
to start a new life
good bye mother earth,we disown you today
(c) okafor makuochi
can you hear me?
has old age captured your ears?
can you see me,lost in this 'over crowd',?
over six billion souls,all crying out loud
Groaning about deep pains
screaming about the plains
The soil lies bare,it grows no harvest
what happened to the green years?
what happened to bounty days?
we have angered you,we have spat you in the face
what happened to all you taught us?
about peace
about unity
about love
about morality
about justice....
we have made our own rules
we have built the best bombs,better guns
we have exhibited the best 'art of war'
we have wounded poor souls
enslaved the innocent,torn down mighty heights
emptied wasted blood into harmless seas
left it blood red
suffocated little sea creatures
dispersed tree birds,pulled down their homes
enslaved elephants,enslaved poor ants
fought against every JUST thing
adopted new cultures of greed,lifestyle of vane
fame & sugar cane wealth
we swin in blood money
oh it tastes like honey
looks at us,look what we've turned into
animals,dirty filty animals
carnivorous beasts!
we no more prey wild animals
our brother's flesh is now a better meat
his blood the wine of our feast
we have snatched them their home
starved them
taken their little homes
left them naked,here in the field cold
displayed them on the BIG screen pretending to care
we have discriminated our brother
on the bases of skin tone & colour
bases of choice & belief
place of birth & origin
we have OVER explioted your crust
emptied large oceans dry
diseased the air,left it lifeless & helpless
we have torn down ozone's blanket
we want it no more
what happened to happy marriages
now is all happily divorced after
what happened to men marrying women
now its men marrying men
what happened to honest,hard working youth
now its weak,lazy,restless fools
what happened to nature and purity
now its all sand & ashes,dark clouds of gases
you have plagued us in your anger
with your rushing tears of FLOOD
angry pump of tsunami blood
heartless HEAT of warth
dry skin cracks of earthquakes
poundin head volcanos
cureless scars of cancer
painful curse of AIDS
heavy sigh of storms
bald grassland,and hungry sad band
sad crying faces,sorrowful music for the babies
where really are we?
we are lost & forgotten in this place
tommorrow we shall leave you
we are going to MARS
to start a new life
good bye mother earth,we disown you today
(c) okafor makuochi
Gorillas on moonscape
Isn't ths funny?
How you speak to me
like you really know it all
what is all this empty noise?
About science and arts,
datas and facts
you know this all an act
your little mechanical creations
are one billionth of my arts and acts
your noisy boasts about medicine & life,
cloning & surgerical knives
ah! Isnt that my help?
Is it your rep?
All these complex life-minute under lens
you view and mute
are they by chance?
Tiny cells & giant stars
complex organs and heavy mars,
the mighty sun & the chettah's run
they came by chance.
All your ancient knowledge of apes
of gorillas at moonscape
does it sound so good?
What about today,has your super apes taken a break?
When are they going to speak awake,or create & recreate
my 'foolishness' vs. Your greatest wisdom is like
mountain everest vs a sand grain of everest
sell off your worthless ego let's trade it for your priceless soul,
and its BINGO!
I have watched you toil,
toil day & night just like your fathers
building up ladders
ladders & towers at the desert of BABEL,right after abel
take me & be free,
i have your manuel
i produced those brain cells
forged you out of clays and hard nails
painted you sweet pale
oh my beautiful TOY frail
How you speak to me
like you really know it all
what is all this empty noise?
About science and arts,
datas and facts
you know this all an act
your little mechanical creations
are one billionth of my arts and acts
your noisy boasts about medicine & life,
cloning & surgerical knives
ah! Isnt that my help?
Is it your rep?
All these complex life-minute under lens
you view and mute
are they by chance?
Tiny cells & giant stars
complex organs and heavy mars,
the mighty sun & the chettah's run
they came by chance.
All your ancient knowledge of apes
of gorillas at moonscape
does it sound so good?
What about today,has your super apes taken a break?
When are they going to speak awake,or create & recreate
my 'foolishness' vs. Your greatest wisdom is like
mountain everest vs a sand grain of everest
sell off your worthless ego let's trade it for your priceless soul,
and its BINGO!
I have watched you toil,
toil day & night just like your fathers
building up ladders
ladders & towers at the desert of BABEL,right after abel
take me & be free,
i have your manuel
i produced those brain cells
forged you out of clays and hard nails
painted you sweet pale
oh my beautiful TOY frail
deep light
DEEPLIGHT
Where really am i? what’s going on?
...Last two weeks I remember coming Back from work, sliding into my bathtub and falling into this quick very deep spontaneous sleep, deeper than my soul can tell,right now even as we communicate now, I have not woken up yet, all I remember was seeing deep bright light, images of my childhood, teen days and my youth flash my eyes fast in the speed light like a slide show. I know this is not a dream
I noticed I took my last inhale of breath, my pulse seized I fell into this transitory trace or should I say sleep. It felt like forcing little sparks and electric shocks through an orgasm, it felt like deep inhale of air with both eyes closed tight and speeding into nothingness or more like a free swift endless fall into this empty bottomless pit, holding your breath to hit the bottom but it’s not forth coming
All I feel here is this huge vacuum and in depth emptiness, like am missing something but I can’t just place it. After the deep light came blinding darkness darker than ocean’s depth.
Here is an abyss of loneliness. Last week was fun and awesome I watched all my friends and enemies assemble and jubilate in this colorful flamboyant funeral my headstone was a beautiful slate of foreign marble, with my name and title engraved on it. i heard the priest read it out
Sir Barr. Clinton Okoh
1970-2010
We love you, you are our hero
As he wiped his eyes, I remember him, he never liked me, we nearly fought on my wedding day, he said my wife was pregnant outside the altar.
I also saw my best friend kunle(“mongo park”) as he cried uncontrollably like a mourning widow, my mother looked strong she’s becoming used to these things she had lost daddy- her husband to this same sleep. I wish I could tell her that I spoke with dad here, he’s fine, he said he communicates to grandpa and grandma too. I couldn’t see him it’s so dark in here but at least I heard him vividly. Everything feels empty I’m not sad neither am I happy…everything is steady, motionless and lifeless. I don’t even feel pity or hate or love.
I saw my wife devastated, going amok or should I say gaga. With my 5year old son watching my wife in fear and confusion oh !how I miss that cold feeling
I even saw my biggest foe! Amber rose, read a tribute over my gravestone, shedding crocodile tears. How deceptive can humans be. She doesn’t know I see her heart now. In here I seem to have developed 5 extra senses and lost one-my favourite THE SENSE OF TOUCH and also the ability of locomotion & movement. I have also lost all my emotions, feeling, of sadness, depression, pity, happiness, and fear… all I know here is echoing silence
Last week kunle dressed me up in a silver coloured suit, well polished prada shoes a white shirt & a purple tie-purple was my favourite colour here it’s just either white or black no shades of grey in between. I was perfumed with Nike ice.
my favourite perfume, I still smell it in here, amber surprised me she dropped on my headstone her guitar!!! This same guitar that made us sworn enemies! This same guitar that I lost my job at the vogue hotel, Abuja to!!! What in this “world” will I be doing with now? She even invited my favourite band- freshly ground from south Africa. Was she trying to impress me? Well I don’t know if I am or not. Flowers decorated my headstone, music shot high loud until 5:00pm people waved their eternal goodbyes friend, foes & strangers acting like they knew me. I would have fallen for their skillful trick.
The priest read “ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” as my wife closed me in this empty box as I was lowered slowly below ground surface I could not hear them clearly any longer my last sounds were the line from freshly ground’s song "I'D LIKE" playing in the distancing surface above “what will you do if I held your hand and laid you down?” as lumps of sand hit the lid of my box slowly, it got heavier and louder until I couldn’t hear them anymore. I can’t feel this box I don’t even know if it’s warm or cool I can only imagine it warm.
As thick dark misty air cover the lid of my box.
After Last week’s event I have been wide awake waiting for something to happen, just one thing, but nothing! No more visits! Forgotten in just two weeks?!… life goes on as “they’ll say. At least I get the usual visits of big-headed termites eating my wrinkling skin, it used to be succulent like red tomatoes today it’s perishing like wasting vegetables. These termites enjoy my jelly brain flesh as they creep slowly through my ears and nose. They really love my brain tissues. I don’t feel their bite. I am just so numb; I miss the feeling of pain, pinching pin, touching & feeling things, the warmth of hugs, or the divine joy satisfying a brutal itch!...
All my thoughts, hopes, plans, dreams, and all my mighty knowledge of life and science, music & arts, people & places has all been buried here in this empty worthless box. At least my big secrets are safe here with me too.
I see clearly now as if I have been blindfolded all this while, I hear far & loud, even my own thoughts are echoing loud in this box. The guys at the mortuary gorged out my frozen, lifeless heart last week. They put me in a better box with crystal clear white misty gas.
Today my box was broken & heavily infested by termites big & small. These termites are done enjoying my silver coloured suit now all I have left is torn birthday suit. For the first time I feel unashamed in my birthday suit.
I am still sleeping awake. Morning through night, day by day… I am waiting for something, something new, maybe a miracle, some divine intervention
Maybe a "wake-up" miracle, will I ever wake up? And feel the sun burn me skin deep, or sniff fresh air, or smell the forest woods, or feel a sweet hug again.
Will I ever see you again?
Will I ever wake up?
Where really am i? what’s going on?
...Last two weeks I remember coming Back from work, sliding into my bathtub and falling into this quick very deep spontaneous sleep, deeper than my soul can tell,right now even as we communicate now, I have not woken up yet, all I remember was seeing deep bright light, images of my childhood, teen days and my youth flash my eyes fast in the speed light like a slide show. I know this is not a dream
I noticed I took my last inhale of breath, my pulse seized I fell into this transitory trace or should I say sleep. It felt like forcing little sparks and electric shocks through an orgasm, it felt like deep inhale of air with both eyes closed tight and speeding into nothingness or more like a free swift endless fall into this empty bottomless pit, holding your breath to hit the bottom but it’s not forth coming
All I feel here is this huge vacuum and in depth emptiness, like am missing something but I can’t just place it. After the deep light came blinding darkness darker than ocean’s depth.
Here is an abyss of loneliness. Last week was fun and awesome I watched all my friends and enemies assemble and jubilate in this colorful flamboyant funeral my headstone was a beautiful slate of foreign marble, with my name and title engraved on it. i heard the priest read it out
Sir Barr. Clinton Okoh
1970-2010
We love you, you are our hero
As he wiped his eyes, I remember him, he never liked me, we nearly fought on my wedding day, he said my wife was pregnant outside the altar.
I also saw my best friend kunle(“mongo park”) as he cried uncontrollably like a mourning widow, my mother looked strong she’s becoming used to these things she had lost daddy- her husband to this same sleep. I wish I could tell her that I spoke with dad here, he’s fine, he said he communicates to grandpa and grandma too. I couldn’t see him it’s so dark in here but at least I heard him vividly. Everything feels empty I’m not sad neither am I happy…everything is steady, motionless and lifeless. I don’t even feel pity or hate or love.
I saw my wife devastated, going amok or should I say gaga. With my 5year old son watching my wife in fear and confusion oh !how I miss that cold feeling
I even saw my biggest foe! Amber rose, read a tribute over my gravestone, shedding crocodile tears. How deceptive can humans be. She doesn’t know I see her heart now. In here I seem to have developed 5 extra senses and lost one-my favourite THE SENSE OF TOUCH and also the ability of locomotion & movement. I have also lost all my emotions, feeling, of sadness, depression, pity, happiness, and fear… all I know here is echoing silence
Last week kunle dressed me up in a silver coloured suit, well polished prada shoes a white shirt & a purple tie-purple was my favourite colour here it’s just either white or black no shades of grey in between. I was perfumed with Nike ice.
my favourite perfume, I still smell it in here, amber surprised me she dropped on my headstone her guitar!!! This same guitar that made us sworn enemies! This same guitar that I lost my job at the vogue hotel, Abuja to!!! What in this “world” will I be doing with now? She even invited my favourite band- freshly ground from south Africa. Was she trying to impress me? Well I don’t know if I am or not. Flowers decorated my headstone, music shot high loud until 5:00pm people waved their eternal goodbyes friend, foes & strangers acting like they knew me. I would have fallen for their skillful trick.
The priest read “ashes to ashes, dust to dust…” as my wife closed me in this empty box as I was lowered slowly below ground surface I could not hear them clearly any longer my last sounds were the line from freshly ground’s song "I'D LIKE" playing in the distancing surface above “what will you do if I held your hand and laid you down?” as lumps of sand hit the lid of my box slowly, it got heavier and louder until I couldn’t hear them anymore. I can’t feel this box I don’t even know if it’s warm or cool I can only imagine it warm.
As thick dark misty air cover the lid of my box.
After Last week’s event I have been wide awake waiting for something to happen, just one thing, but nothing! No more visits! Forgotten in just two weeks?!… life goes on as “they’ll say. At least I get the usual visits of big-headed termites eating my wrinkling skin, it used to be succulent like red tomatoes today it’s perishing like wasting vegetables. These termites enjoy my jelly brain flesh as they creep slowly through my ears and nose. They really love my brain tissues. I don’t feel their bite. I am just so numb; I miss the feeling of pain, pinching pin, touching & feeling things, the warmth of hugs, or the divine joy satisfying a brutal itch!...
All my thoughts, hopes, plans, dreams, and all my mighty knowledge of life and science, music & arts, people & places has all been buried here in this empty worthless box. At least my big secrets are safe here with me too.
I see clearly now as if I have been blindfolded all this while, I hear far & loud, even my own thoughts are echoing loud in this box. The guys at the mortuary gorged out my frozen, lifeless heart last week. They put me in a better box with crystal clear white misty gas.
Today my box was broken & heavily infested by termites big & small. These termites are done enjoying my silver coloured suit now all I have left is torn birthday suit. For the first time I feel unashamed in my birthday suit.
I am still sleeping awake. Morning through night, day by day… I am waiting for something, something new, maybe a miracle, some divine intervention
Maybe a "wake-up" miracle, will I ever wake up? And feel the sun burn me skin deep, or sniff fresh air, or smell the forest woods, or feel a sweet hug again.
Will I ever see you again?
Will I ever wake up?
my sucide note( by hanging)
hello,
i have given up trying to tell you
you will never admit it
failure is so sweet
Today i take this easy way out
I hang up here tight
this door never opened
my eyes were wide open
rescue never came
oh! what a shame
I waited to my last breath
I hoped to the last drop
you flopped to my satisfaction
Thank you for your absence
as i swung in anticipating silence
you are never here when i need you
i wish you were here
I dreamt of you cutting this rope
i wished you'll save me
i prayed you'll save me
you never save me
i wish you were here
-with love
MAKUO
Copyright (c) 2010
Okafor Makuochi
i have given up trying to tell you
you will never admit it
failure is so sweet
Today i take this easy way out
I hang up here tight
this door never opened
my eyes were wide open
rescue never came
oh! what a shame
I waited to my last breath
I hoped to the last drop
you flopped to my satisfaction
Thank you for your absence
as i swung in anticipating silence
you are never here when i need you
i wish you were here
I dreamt of you cutting this rope
i wished you'll save me
i prayed you'll save me
you never save me
i wish you were here
-with love
MAKUO
Copyright (c) 2010
Okafor Makuochi
our bitter dance
At the beach we strolled
on airy streets, we walked
in restaurantsrestruants we laughed
at parks, we played
hands tight
legs high
mouth wide
lips locked
on red altar carpet we vowed
down the isle we walked
wedding bells they rang
dreamland was real
paradise was ours
a kiss to seal
'for better, for worse'
was more than words
and the stage was set
life began
in life swam, splashed and laughed
and swam the more
we swam astray
from oceans deep to desserts bank
life began
life happened
he played the drums
and chroegraphed the dance
our bitter dance
the ugly music
your once sweet meal, my tongues tastes bitter
my once sweet music, in your ears now ring
bitter
this fat spouse
this noisy spouse
our wrecking house
we danced with knives
and played with guns
we read sweet poems of laws and courts
for better, for better
for worse, for us
we signed the papers
with pride, on furs
worlds scattered
hearts apart
love abound
hate avenged
till death did us path
Copyright(c) 2010
on airy streets, we walked
in restaurantsrestruants we laughed
at parks, we played
hands tight
legs high
mouth wide
lips locked
on red altar carpet we vowed
down the isle we walked
wedding bells they rang
dreamland was real
paradise was ours
a kiss to seal
'for better, for worse'
was more than words
and the stage was set
life began
in life swam, splashed and laughed
and swam the more
we swam astray
from oceans deep to desserts bank
life began
life happened
he played the drums
and chroegraphed the dance
our bitter dance
the ugly music
your once sweet meal, my tongues tastes bitter
my once sweet music, in your ears now ring
bitter
this fat spouse
this noisy spouse
our wrecking house
we danced with knives
and played with guns
we read sweet poems of laws and courts
for better, for better
for worse, for us
we signed the papers
with pride, on furs
worlds scattered
hearts apart
love abound
hate avenged
till death did us path
Copyright(c) 2010
what the heck is love??
Last two days i asked a group of young people who claimed to be in love to tell me what love was, non of them could answer clearly, their answers were incoherent and meaningless, after series of blabbing, one(a guy) in the group spoke up boldly and honesty...
in his words "LOVE FEELS LIKE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE"...in short he concluded Love=Sex ...his answer was sincere and honest and got me thinking the more "What the HECK is love"...
for me I've never "been in love" so i can't even tell the sensation, i've had strong crush,been attracted to people(sexually and non)
From my close observation,many people(95%) who claim and strongly believe to be in love, are just daydreaming, living in fairytale land and lying to themselves.
here are some conclusions I've come up with
-love is NOT, i repeat, is Not an Emotion
-it is not a feeling
-it is more than a sensation
-to me it is a strong BOND
let me explain! People confuse mere feeling of attraction(sexual or otherwise) to Love
the word "love" is highly over rated
when people obtain satisfication and relief (sexual, emotional, financial or other wise) they confuse it for love that's why most guys confess SINCERELY their love to their spouse/ partner after a good sex
I'm not sure if i know what really love is as thIS unrealistic, illusive world today portray it, flowers, and scents, candles, cupid and arrows?.free like sparrows...bla bla bla
The holy book(THE BIBLE) presented love in the most realistic way and painted a real, vivid, touchable picture and not some fairytale script of cartoon character running on the beach, of a handsome prince and princess..., for heaven's sake what's all that what's love got to do with all these Drama!?
you only see what your eyes want to see, and feel what your heart wants to feel, you only fall in love with who you want to fall in love, it's not as magical as we claim if not i wonder why people don't get to fall in love with mad people, cripple beggers, ugly people e.t.c
why does the magical cupid only get to satisfy our dream?
To me love as we paint it just a switch which we you conscious switch on and off at will, i make myself fall in love even with a horse as löng as it pleases me all i have to do is conscious dwell in thoughts, with it, create a hype, sensitize my senses that everything about the horse becomes a big deal, the way it walks, the way it smells, the way it chows hay...bla bla bla and that satisfactory temporal 'High' is what people call being in love
love has nothing to do with 'the physical', quality, tangibility...it has nothing to do with sex,hormones, emotions and feelings
to me love is a strong growing connection of relationship and bond...i am in love, madly in love with all my friends boys and girls alike...
Who said love is just for the opposite gender alone???...love no gender boundaries, it is real, it is not based on sentiments and feelings.
it is virtures of kidness, patience, understanding, reality and sincerity not some phony talks
as i have been taught my my honest dear friend falling in love is falling in lust...yes! I see a girl I'm in love with her, the truth is that i just want to get physical with her...if people are honest to themselves they have gotten physical with the people they' re in love with...or really, really want and crave for physical satisfaction with those they claim to love even if it stops at Kissing...does that not shock you ?
most couples get married not because of love but
-out of obligation
-out of life's responsibility of procreation
-others cause it's a norm of age
real love is just true, sincere and pure friendship,
it is a bond and connection and nothing more, no hormonal excitement added to it, no beating hearts, no uneasy loins, no sleepless nights...
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 painted it real all the virtue listed there depict true friendship and that is love!
in my world love as we see is fake, lies and fairytale
in my world love is Just a growing bond of friendship
PERIOD!
Q.E.D!
in his words "LOVE FEELS LIKE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE"...in short he concluded Love=Sex ...his answer was sincere and honest and got me thinking the more "What the HECK is love"...
for me I've never "been in love" so i can't even tell the sensation, i've had strong crush,been attracted to people(sexually and non)
From my close observation,many people(95%) who claim and strongly believe to be in love, are just daydreaming, living in fairytale land and lying to themselves.
here are some conclusions I've come up with
-love is NOT, i repeat, is Not an Emotion
-it is not a feeling
-it is more than a sensation
-to me it is a strong BOND
let me explain! People confuse mere feeling of attraction(sexual or otherwise) to Love
the word "love" is highly over rated
when people obtain satisfication and relief (sexual, emotional, financial or other wise) they confuse it for love that's why most guys confess SINCERELY their love to their spouse/ partner after a good sex
I'm not sure if i know what really love is as thIS unrealistic, illusive world today portray it, flowers, and scents, candles, cupid and arrows?.free like sparrows...bla bla bla
The holy book(THE BIBLE) presented love in the most realistic way and painted a real, vivid, touchable picture and not some fairytale script of cartoon character running on the beach, of a handsome prince and princess..., for heaven's sake what's all that what's love got to do with all these Drama!?
you only see what your eyes want to see, and feel what your heart wants to feel, you only fall in love with who you want to fall in love, it's not as magical as we claim if not i wonder why people don't get to fall in love with mad people, cripple beggers, ugly people e.t.c
why does the magical cupid only get to satisfy our dream?
To me love as we paint it just a switch which we you conscious switch on and off at will, i make myself fall in love even with a horse as löng as it pleases me all i have to do is conscious dwell in thoughts, with it, create a hype, sensitize my senses that everything about the horse becomes a big deal, the way it walks, the way it smells, the way it chows hay...bla bla bla and that satisfactory temporal 'High' is what people call being in love
love has nothing to do with 'the physical', quality, tangibility...it has nothing to do with sex,hormones, emotions and feelings
to me love is a strong growing connection of relationship and bond...i am in love, madly in love with all my friends boys and girls alike...
Who said love is just for the opposite gender alone???...love no gender boundaries, it is real, it is not based on sentiments and feelings.
it is virtures of kidness, patience, understanding, reality and sincerity not some phony talks
as i have been taught my my honest dear friend falling in love is falling in lust...yes! I see a girl I'm in love with her, the truth is that i just want to get physical with her...if people are honest to themselves they have gotten physical with the people they' re in love with...or really, really want and crave for physical satisfaction with those they claim to love even if it stops at Kissing...does that not shock you ?
most couples get married not because of love but
-out of obligation
-out of life's responsibility of procreation
-others cause it's a norm of age
real love is just true, sincere and pure friendship,
it is a bond and connection and nothing more, no hormonal excitement added to it, no beating hearts, no uneasy loins, no sleepless nights...
1 Corinthians 13: 4-8 painted it real all the virtue listed there depict true friendship and that is love!
in my world love as we see is fake, lies and fairytale
in my world love is Just a growing bond of friendship
PERIOD!
Q.E.D!
NOVEMBER 16TH
It all happened in one second...
The skies were dark, dust wrapped the air, as i lay, faced up in great confusion, her wounded, bleeding body landed beside me.....
This was how it all began....
6:35am
November 16th
Feast of sacrifice
It was a cold, windy harmattan morning, mom woke me up earlier,
she disrupted my dream -it was about ibrahim - my next door neighbour and favourite playmate, i think i like him, i've been trying to force myself to sleep to continue the dream! As i dosed off i was woken with a heavy slap and it was mom, as i was gaining consciousness i realised that my bed was wet.
Oh NO! not again, not today i had bedwetted, after i made a promise to her yesturday,never to bedwet again , as i opened my eyes she was right in my face ranting and screaming displaying fury and anger in every possible gesture and language...
Oh before i forget my name is Halima Bello, i am 13 years old, i just got admitted into Federal governmant college, kaduna. I have never been happlier, i have been giving Allah praise since monday the day before yesturday. Today is the Eid al-adha (The festival of sacrifice) the end of Hajj.
oh! how I love holidays mom gets to cook all sorts of delicacy.
Today started like every other normal morning after the usual me vs. mom early morning fight, i walked to the kitchen did the dishes and had breakfast mom made 'tuwo' with 'nunu' to wash it down we all prayed and ate happily...
I freshened up, took my bath and dressed up, mom and i were going shopping at the local market to shop for the Eid al-adha holiday, a ram for the feast and more 'dawa' (millet) grains.
i had my list ready, mom said i should make a list of all the things i needed for school.
On my list the number 1 item was
-2 sanitary pad sets (i had my first flow last month, mom has been educating me)
i am just too exicted, the haramattan makes it even better, i really love haramattan, the cold wind, the dryness and the smell of dust.
As we arrived the kaduna local market the commotion was high and loud, everybody looked happy and over joyed, women exchanging joyful hugs and chatting expressly. Mom was too busy to notice Mrs. Amadu wave. I spotted the 'kilish' spot,that was my major motivation for following mom to market, as she nearly rushed pass, mr musa stopped her, greeted her politely and asked if she wasn't going to get me some, i was so happy as i winked at mr Amadu and he cheerfully winked back, mom bought #250 pack of 'kilish' for me
We had a stressful walk around the maze of the overcrowded market, as i ate the peppery 'kilish' with my left hand , mom held and dragged me speedily by right hand.A local cart full and heavily packed with our stuff ,dragged by a boy my age following us in speed.
Mom was rushing to the general abattoir to buy and butcher the ram. As we arrived, mom was really angry as her most dreaded scene was taking place, there was a huge crowd, people hitting people, voice colliding, bodies colliding...
While we stood on the long queue waiting for our turn, a man with a long, bugous, black 'caftan' robe flowing down to the tip of his toe with His head tightly tied with arabian scaff, his thick, bushy beard rolling down he climb high, stood high on top of the center abattoir table as he looked left, looked right and rushed his hands under his robe, as i watched the funny looking 'mad' man closely and laughed
he screamed in a loud voice FOR ALLAH!!!!!
And right then was a big deafening blast, i one second everything changed, the beautiful day turned ugly. His black, burning body parts scattered in the air as i ran off in fear, voices screamed high ,tables flew up,rams bleet loud as they flew up into the open sky, the force hit people and scattered the crowd, i was so confused i didn't want to think fear gripped me as the force of the blast hit me against the wall, and i realized it was a suicide booming
It all happened in one second
The skies were dark, dust wrapped the air, as i lay faced up in confusion her wounded bleeding body landed beside me, as i turned it was mom. she was torn in pieces i was too overwheld the shock seized my breath, shouts of tears and sorrow echoed above as i cried and wailed ,i thought of all our fights, and laughter, all our days of struggles since dad's death, her dream of my marriage with ibrahim, our dream of matriculation at ABU, Zaria and i wepted and gnashed my teeth in heart pain. It's all over i am now a helpless orphan.
Just because of one man's belief! What a surprising belief
For Allah's sake what is the point?
Where is the love?
Miss Mary always talks about love, the type she was taught, the type that dies for others freely and doesn't let people perish for nothing the type that took her place on the cross, all i could remember was our last argument on sunday as she said ''love never hurts anybody''
copyright(c) 2010 Okafor Makuochi
The skies were dark, dust wrapped the air, as i lay, faced up in great confusion, her wounded, bleeding body landed beside me.....
This was how it all began....
6:35am
November 16th
Feast of sacrifice
It was a cold, windy harmattan morning, mom woke me up earlier,
she disrupted my dream -it was about ibrahim - my next door neighbour and favourite playmate, i think i like him, i've been trying to force myself to sleep to continue the dream! As i dosed off i was woken with a heavy slap and it was mom, as i was gaining consciousness i realised that my bed was wet.
Oh NO! not again, not today i had bedwetted, after i made a promise to her yesturday,never to bedwet again , as i opened my eyes she was right in my face ranting and screaming displaying fury and anger in every possible gesture and language...
Oh before i forget my name is Halima Bello, i am 13 years old, i just got admitted into Federal governmant college, kaduna. I have never been happlier, i have been giving Allah praise since monday the day before yesturday. Today is the Eid al-adha (The festival of sacrifice) the end of Hajj.
oh! how I love holidays mom gets to cook all sorts of delicacy.
Today started like every other normal morning after the usual me vs. mom early morning fight, i walked to the kitchen did the dishes and had breakfast mom made 'tuwo' with 'nunu' to wash it down we all prayed and ate happily...
I freshened up, took my bath and dressed up, mom and i were going shopping at the local market to shop for the Eid al-adha holiday, a ram for the feast and more 'dawa' (millet) grains.
i had my list ready, mom said i should make a list of all the things i needed for school.
On my list the number 1 item was
-2 sanitary pad sets (i had my first flow last month, mom has been educating me)
i am just too exicted, the haramattan makes it even better, i really love haramattan, the cold wind, the dryness and the smell of dust.
As we arrived the kaduna local market the commotion was high and loud, everybody looked happy and over joyed, women exchanging joyful hugs and chatting expressly. Mom was too busy to notice Mrs. Amadu wave. I spotted the 'kilish' spot,that was my major motivation for following mom to market, as she nearly rushed pass, mr musa stopped her, greeted her politely and asked if she wasn't going to get me some, i was so happy as i winked at mr Amadu and he cheerfully winked back, mom bought #250 pack of 'kilish' for me
We had a stressful walk around the maze of the overcrowded market, as i ate the peppery 'kilish' with my left hand , mom held and dragged me speedily by right hand.A local cart full and heavily packed with our stuff ,dragged by a boy my age following us in speed.
Mom was rushing to the general abattoir to buy and butcher the ram. As we arrived, mom was really angry as her most dreaded scene was taking place, there was a huge crowd, people hitting people, voice colliding, bodies colliding...
While we stood on the long queue waiting for our turn, a man with a long, bugous, black 'caftan' robe flowing down to the tip of his toe with His head tightly tied with arabian scaff, his thick, bushy beard rolling down he climb high, stood high on top of the center abattoir table as he looked left, looked right and rushed his hands under his robe, as i watched the funny looking 'mad' man closely and laughed
he screamed in a loud voice FOR ALLAH!!!!!
And right then was a big deafening blast, i one second everything changed, the beautiful day turned ugly. His black, burning body parts scattered in the air as i ran off in fear, voices screamed high ,tables flew up,rams bleet loud as they flew up into the open sky, the force hit people and scattered the crowd, i was so confused i didn't want to think fear gripped me as the force of the blast hit me against the wall, and i realized it was a suicide booming
It all happened in one second
The skies were dark, dust wrapped the air, as i lay faced up in confusion her wounded bleeding body landed beside me, as i turned it was mom. she was torn in pieces i was too overwheld the shock seized my breath, shouts of tears and sorrow echoed above as i cried and wailed ,i thought of all our fights, and laughter, all our days of struggles since dad's death, her dream of my marriage with ibrahim, our dream of matriculation at ABU, Zaria and i wepted and gnashed my teeth in heart pain. It's all over i am now a helpless orphan.
Just because of one man's belief! What a surprising belief
For Allah's sake what is the point?
Where is the love?
Miss Mary always talks about love, the type she was taught, the type that dies for others freely and doesn't let people perish for nothing the type that took her place on the cross, all i could remember was our last argument on sunday as she said ''love never hurts anybody''
copyright(c) 2010 Okafor Makuochi
100 question for father
Dear Father,
Can you hear me?
Are you really up there?
Are you real?
Why don't you pick my calls sometimes?
Why did you make me?
Is there a reason?
Why am i not a bird?
Did you really create the earth and all in it?
Why am i a Nigerian(didn't you see better countries like USA to place me in)?
Why did you put me into the Okafor's family?
Do you know about my family problems?
Why am i phelgmatic/sanguine?
Do you truly care?
Did you see me cry deeply the other night?
Why did you take Uncle Chukwuma away fast
?
Were you awake the night i cried and sent you all my dark secrets?
Is it true you never sleep?
Okay, how many hairs are on my head?
Why do you even care so much about a mere mortal like me?
Did you know i was going to get an 'F' in that exam?
is it true you know my future?
what will i be?
Is my future bright?
Will i be rich,successful, famous and happy?
Why didn't i do medicine?
Is it true it was you who caught me as i struck my foot against stone yesturday?
How difficult was it for you to create the world
?
Can you ever leave me?
Have you ever cried?
Do you have emotions
?
Who is your favourite human?
Have i ever made laugh?
Ever?
What my number on you 'favourite people' list?
What's your favourite colour?(please don't tell me white)
What's you idea of fun?
What's you favourite song?
Can you dance?
What do you eat?
Is it true manna tastes like waffers?
Do you see my earnest confusion here on earth?
Do you know i love you?
Why do you let me suffer some times
Why have you left some difficult things in my life
?
Did you know about
earthquake in haiti?
why did it happen?
When will i die?
Do you really know all things?
Were you the one who sent me dinner tonight?(if it were you thanks i'm so broke now)
When will you send me money?
Is it true you always think of me
?
That book you wrote said you love me...is it true?
Have you ever wished you were someone else?
Is anything difficult for you?
Why are you not quantifiable, my scientist friends say you don't exist...can you show them some evidence
?
Are you angry with me?
have i asked you too many questions
i'm i boring?(pls tell me NO!)
when are you going to visit?...soon?
P.s: i need a new phone ASAP...reply fast
Your son
Makuo
Can you hear me?
Are you really up there?
Are you real?
Why don't you pick my calls sometimes?
Why did you make me?
Is there a reason?
Why am i not a bird?
Did you really create the earth and all in it?
Why am i a Nigerian(didn't you see better countries like USA to place me in)?
Why did you put me into the Okafor's family?
Do you know about my family problems?
Why am i phelgmatic/sanguine?
Do you truly care?
Did you see me cry deeply the other night?
Why did you take Uncle Chukwuma away fast
?
Were you awake the night i cried and sent you all my dark secrets?
Is it true you never sleep?
Okay, how many hairs are on my head?
Why do you even care so much about a mere mortal like me?
Did you know i was going to get an 'F' in that exam?
is it true you know my future?
what will i be?
Is my future bright?
Will i be rich,successful, famous and happy?
Why didn't i do medicine?
Is it true it was you who caught me as i struck my foot against stone yesturday?
How difficult was it for you to create the world
?
Can you ever leave me?
Have you ever cried?
Do you have emotions
?
Who is your favourite human?
Have i ever made laugh?
Ever?
What my number on you 'favourite people' list?
What's your favourite colour?(please don't tell me white)
What's you idea of fun?
What's you favourite song?
Can you dance?
What do you eat?
Is it true manna tastes like waffers?
Do you see my earnest confusion here on earth?
Do you know i love you?
Why do you let me suffer some times
Why have you left some difficult things in my life
?
Did you know about
earthquake in haiti?
why did it happen?
When will i die?
Do you really know all things?
Were you the one who sent me dinner tonight?(if it were you thanks i'm so broke now)
When will you send me money?
Is it true you always think of me
?
That book you wrote said you love me...is it true?
Have you ever wished you were someone else?
Is anything difficult for you?
Why are you not quantifiable, my scientist friends say you don't exist...can you show them some evidence
?
Are you angry with me?
have i asked you too many questions
i'm i boring?(pls tell me NO!)
when are you going to visit?...soon?
P.s: i need a new phone ASAP...reply fast
Your son
Makuo
Haven's avenue
Haven’s avenue
It is 2:33am and the whole haven’s avenue i can bet is awake or away, either praying or happily lodged away in a hotel. Uncle Sam has been crying all evening and has refused to eat nor drink as a punishment for not being able to afford the cheapest local hotel bill, Aunty Efe prepared the family’s favourite pounded yam and nsala soup as we broke our fast by 9.00pm, she has told him not to worry as it wasn’t his fault, civil servants had not being paid for 8months! And there was nobody to turn to the family’s name was already synonymous with debt. We had even gone as far as borrowing from the street gate man Mr Musa. Even Musa was able to pay for the local guest house and we weren’t (oh my!)
Today must be the most memorable day of my life, today started with a sad news Chika called to report how Cindy a little 7 year old girl was carried and drowned by the heavy currents of yesterday’s rain the streets drainage has been bad and getting worse year after year and nobody cares anymore the letters written to the government over the years concerning the bad drainage is enough to make the pages of a standard bible. Haven’s avenue has been “non-motorable” for over 2 years now. After we got the sad news we all went over to Cindy’s apartment to pay them a condolence visit. Aunty Efe had declared a fast this morning; she bought us all new chaplets. Uncle Sam came home today with a gallon of blessed holy water, we had sprinkled it on our door post and gate earlier this night. I have prayed “hail Mary” 364 times today and this is my 365th time.
This has been one hell of a week in our street-haven’s avenue day before yesterday Rose-Mary, our neighbour’s house help was sexually harassed down the lonely street corner by the popular street mad man Ade, around 8pm. It was violent and brutal Rose-mary is an under-aged girl possibly 10 she was reported to be coming back from an Errand over at the aboki’s shop as she was attacked. Rumour has it that my picture was in his breast pocket that i am his number one target. He was beaten and burnt to death as he was nabbed by the haven’s avenue youth club, i also was told that he was screaming my name even while he burnt. Like that wasn’t enough Dr tony was electrocuted to death yesterday evening as he climbed the NEPA pole to fix his illegal electric connection he had been doing that for 5months now, he never pays his NEPA electric bills. The whole street wondered what was going to be next
Well the next was even better late yesterday night Musa announced on the public address system of a shocking letter he received from a stranger, he opened it and found a bullet, the letter was titled PROMISE OF A PLUNDER and the content was a warning from Ade’s friends and family threatening to attack the street. Everybody thought it was just a joke as by 3.15am yesterday as i was studying and falling asleep as usual i was suddenly woken up by the loud blasts of countless bullet launches, the night echoed the blast loud. Uncle Sam says they were AK-47s Aunty Efe argues they were machine guns.
Fear and great Panic seized us all as night drew near the street lay bare all day as we waited for Uncle Sam to come with a hope for escape all our bags had been packed. Our neighbours all waved us goodbye. Today was my First day of seeing a man cry, my uncle cried like a baby in aunty Efe’s arms he was sincerely disappointed with himself. The night crawled even slower than ever it seemed like eternity we all stayed locked-in at the boy’s quarters, Uncle sam, Aunty Efe, their new born chid –Gina and i. The street gate swung wide open Musa and his family had escaped early this morning to a local guest house. 2.33am and yet nothing has happened Aunty Efe and Uncle sam tip toe to the kitchen to Make coffee they were taking too long. As i saw the shadow of a familiar figure, reflect through the window , it resembled Ade’s i would have sworn it was him fear gripped me as i closed my eyes tight, Hot urine was forcing its way through me. I have never been this scared in my life the worst of all Gina was woken up by some strange voice outside saying “sabi na this be her house” and another replied exactly like Ade’s voice saying “Yes, na her house be this”. I opened my eyes as my heart beat faster and faster Gina squeaked, gently smiling at me as i tried to close her mouth with my hand the figure outside approached closer and the other two huge shadows behind shouted in native Yoruba language “let’s Leave here nobody’s here, this yard is empty” the worst happened as Aunty Efe and Uncle Sam tip toed their way back into the room Gina sighted her mom and cried out loud i was so shocked she increased her pitch and cried even louder, right then NEPA seized power we all rushed her held ourselves tight on the bed with racing hearts and waited for what next.
I could see the three shadow turn, coming back to our apartment in response to the loud cry, light from the solar powered street light reflected the shadows boldly...
It is 2:33am and the whole haven’s avenue i can bet is awake or away, either praying or happily lodged away in a hotel. Uncle Sam has been crying all evening and has refused to eat nor drink as a punishment for not being able to afford the cheapest local hotel bill, Aunty Efe prepared the family’s favourite pounded yam and nsala soup as we broke our fast by 9.00pm, she has told him not to worry as it wasn’t his fault, civil servants had not being paid for 8months! And there was nobody to turn to the family’s name was already synonymous with debt. We had even gone as far as borrowing from the street gate man Mr Musa. Even Musa was able to pay for the local guest house and we weren’t (oh my!)
Today must be the most memorable day of my life, today started with a sad news Chika called to report how Cindy a little 7 year old girl was carried and drowned by the heavy currents of yesterday’s rain the streets drainage has been bad and getting worse year after year and nobody cares anymore the letters written to the government over the years concerning the bad drainage is enough to make the pages of a standard bible. Haven’s avenue has been “non-motorable” for over 2 years now. After we got the sad news we all went over to Cindy’s apartment to pay them a condolence visit. Aunty Efe had declared a fast this morning; she bought us all new chaplets. Uncle Sam came home today with a gallon of blessed holy water, we had sprinkled it on our door post and gate earlier this night. I have prayed “hail Mary” 364 times today and this is my 365th time.
This has been one hell of a week in our street-haven’s avenue day before yesterday Rose-Mary, our neighbour’s house help was sexually harassed down the lonely street corner by the popular street mad man Ade, around 8pm. It was violent and brutal Rose-mary is an under-aged girl possibly 10 she was reported to be coming back from an Errand over at the aboki’s shop as she was attacked. Rumour has it that my picture was in his breast pocket that i am his number one target. He was beaten and burnt to death as he was nabbed by the haven’s avenue youth club, i also was told that he was screaming my name even while he burnt. Like that wasn’t enough Dr tony was electrocuted to death yesterday evening as he climbed the NEPA pole to fix his illegal electric connection he had been doing that for 5months now, he never pays his NEPA electric bills. The whole street wondered what was going to be next
Well the next was even better late yesterday night Musa announced on the public address system of a shocking letter he received from a stranger, he opened it and found a bullet, the letter was titled PROMISE OF A PLUNDER and the content was a warning from Ade’s friends and family threatening to attack the street. Everybody thought it was just a joke as by 3.15am yesterday as i was studying and falling asleep as usual i was suddenly woken up by the loud blasts of countless bullet launches, the night echoed the blast loud. Uncle Sam says they were AK-47s Aunty Efe argues they were machine guns.
Fear and great Panic seized us all as night drew near the street lay bare all day as we waited for Uncle Sam to come with a hope for escape all our bags had been packed. Our neighbours all waved us goodbye. Today was my First day of seeing a man cry, my uncle cried like a baby in aunty Efe’s arms he was sincerely disappointed with himself. The night crawled even slower than ever it seemed like eternity we all stayed locked-in at the boy’s quarters, Uncle sam, Aunty Efe, their new born chid –Gina and i. The street gate swung wide open Musa and his family had escaped early this morning to a local guest house. 2.33am and yet nothing has happened Aunty Efe and Uncle sam tip toe to the kitchen to Make coffee they were taking too long. As i saw the shadow of a familiar figure, reflect through the window , it resembled Ade’s i would have sworn it was him fear gripped me as i closed my eyes tight, Hot urine was forcing its way through me. I have never been this scared in my life the worst of all Gina was woken up by some strange voice outside saying “sabi na this be her house” and another replied exactly like Ade’s voice saying “Yes, na her house be this”. I opened my eyes as my heart beat faster and faster Gina squeaked, gently smiling at me as i tried to close her mouth with my hand the figure outside approached closer and the other two huge shadows behind shouted in native Yoruba language “let’s Leave here nobody’s here, this yard is empty” the worst happened as Aunty Efe and Uncle Sam tip toed their way back into the room Gina sighted her mom and cried out loud i was so shocked she increased her pitch and cried even louder, right then NEPA seized power we all rushed her held ourselves tight on the bed with racing hearts and waited for what next.
I could see the three shadow turn, coming back to our apartment in response to the loud cry, light from the solar powered street light reflected the shadows boldly...
yesturday has passed
Yesterday has passed away
Yesterday has passed away
Embedded beneath surface, buried
On ocean’s basin, undelivered messages
Floating on gentle water tides
Basking in the sun, skin-suntanned
Fossilized bones, dry skeleton
Rotten memories, saved beneath the crust
History long lost, frozen smiles - non stop
Frosted heartache, preserved through winter.
Resurrected emotions.
Lingering scents
Familiar voices
Long forgotten funeral
Excavated by modern mechanical machines
Beasts on four giant feet
Angry claws, scavenging the field
Scaring deep furrows
Skulls found
Missing clues
Hidden secrets on toothless skulls
Gliding slowly through the museum
Down ancient hallways
Saluting still pictures and images
Cold sculptures and dead statues
Indeed yesterday has gone with no
Forensic evidence.
Yesterday is dead, bury it in peace.
Yesterday has passed away
Embedded beneath surface, buried
On ocean’s basin, undelivered messages
Floating on gentle water tides
Basking in the sun, skin-suntanned
Fossilized bones, dry skeleton
Rotten memories, saved beneath the crust
History long lost, frozen smiles - non stop
Frosted heartache, preserved through winter.
Resurrected emotions.
Lingering scents
Familiar voices
Long forgotten funeral
Excavated by modern mechanical machines
Beasts on four giant feet
Angry claws, scavenging the field
Scaring deep furrows
Skulls found
Missing clues
Hidden secrets on toothless skulls
Gliding slowly through the museum
Down ancient hallways
Saluting still pictures and images
Cold sculptures and dead statues
Indeed yesterday has gone with no
Forensic evidence.
Yesterday is dead, bury it in peace.
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